Today has been a crummy day. The only good part about the morning was my sweet husband making breakfast for Jonathan and I before he had to leave for work. As I was sitting on the couch having a pity party for myself about how horrible I felt, I thought, "Man, if only Mike were home today - I could just go back to bed and not have to worry about what Jonathan could do to himself or other things if I crash for awhile." Then, literally about 15 minutes later, the door unlocked and my man came to the rescue. He didn't even know how horrible I felt. He figured that most of his clients were partying or closed today, so if he got a call for a job, he could go in, but in the mean time, he might as well be home with us.
I cried. I told him how horrible I felt and how glad I was that he was home. And just like that, my man, my gift from God, took over. He stayed out in the living room with little man so that I could go lie down. I crashed for almost two hours. Then, I got up and was able to get ready for the day in a leisurely fashion, knowing he had it all under control.
Then came the sickness. It was my own fault for not eating something the moment I got back up out of bed. But you know what, as I was huddling over the toilet, I found myself thanking God.
Last night I was struggling to sleep. Mike asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was nervous about losing the babies because this week I came to the date on the calendar that I could stop giving myself shots. During the last two pregnancies, stopping the shot was what induced the miscarriages to get started. Of course, I remind myself that the babies were already gone at that point, but it didn't stop this from being a rough week for me of worrying about if at any moment the miscarriage would start again.
So you see, being sick this morning was indeed a blessing. Sickness means there are still babies there. While I continue to work on trusting the Lord with this pregnancy and not spending all of my time worried about it, it is so comforting that He allows the sickness to help in the process. I'm praying that at some point I'll be able to hand that burden and that stress over to Him and NOT take it back to worry on some more.
I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you."
1 comment:
Yay, I'm so glad that you can have a day of rest and comfort. And I'm glad you're sick...that was always comforting to me, too, knowing that the baby(s!) are okay. Merry Christmas to you and your family!!
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