Works of God - Jehovah Jireh

Long, long, long ago, I was a student at Northland Baptist Bible College ('95 - '99). While there, in chapels, we had something called "Works of God Monday" and we would spend time listening to testimonies of how God was working. It was a fresh and real reminder that our God is alive and that He is at work. It gave us the opportunity to look at life's events through the spectrum of God's hand in our lives.

Often, especially near the times of the semester when our bills were due, we would hear testimonies of God's provision. Some of my very dear friends were among those who were almost to the point of having to go home and miss out on the rest semester (because Northland did not allow students to go in debt to pay their school bills) when at what seemed like the last moment, God would provide the money for them to stay. Often this money came in the most unique ways or in avenues that could only be attributed to God showing Himself faithful.

My mom often reminds me of the fact that I once told her that I was a little jealous of those who could give that testimony. I was never one who was at risk of not paying my bill - not because we were wealthy, but because I was able to work at college, work in the summer and receive the ministry scholarship. All those things combined meant that there was money to pay the bill. I told her that I wanted my faith to be stretched the way those students were stretched. I wanted that constant reminder of how faithful my God is.

Well, fast forward to the present. I can't even begin to tell you how many ways God has provided for us in the past year and a half. It was in September of 2010 that Mike finished his time with the company he had invested 5 years in. We were at that point in life and in his pay where we really didn't have to count pennies and we didn't have to wonder where the money would come from for the next bill. Mike started his own company and was there for a year until this past fall when he finished his non compete and could go back into working in Tampa. Anyone who has started a new company can attest to the fact that there are sometimes hurdles and it takes time to grow. While his company has been growing, we have watched in amazement as God has provided. We have seen it through extra projects that have come in, through an IRS change in how they handled the adoption credit, through gifts from others and through savings we didn't expect, and even through those obvious ways, we have seen God make the ends meet when there is no reason they should.

Back in the beginning of February, I was looking at the financials and trying to figure out who wasn't going to get paid when we ran out of money and how to decide who got how much and why. I was challenged with the thought of the children of Israel and the manna God provided. Each morning, there was fresh manna for them. God provided enough for the day. He didn't provide for the next year, month, week or even day. He gave them what they needed on that day. At that point, Mike and I talked and we decided to just deal with the bill that was due each day. Instead of planning ahead that we weren't going to pay a bill due today because of the one we needed to pay in two weeks, we focused on that day. Here we are near the end of May and God has provided for each bill. Just as before, sometimes the money came from an extra project that Mike spent all weekend working on. Sometimes the money came from selling something on Amazon or Ebay. Sometimes the money came from a gift from a friend. But in the end, we know that ALWAYS the money came from God. Sometimes it is humbling and overwhelming to see God provide through the gifts and sacrifices of others, but while we are praying for His provision, who are we to tell Him how to provide?

As you all know, we have been blessed by three precious little ones recently. Though I can, and probably will, write several posts on God's blessings in their very existence, the main point of this post is God's financial provision. So when we found out that we were having triplets, we realized that we were facing another financial hurdle in that neither of our vehicles would fit 3 infant car seats and a toddler car seat. We knew we would need a van to haul our family. We immediately began praying that God would provide us a van. Some might say, well just go out and get one and spread your payment out as far as possible. We just didn't feel like we could do that. We were already praying for God to provide for other bills - how could we go sign up for another one that we didn't know how to pay? As the months went on, people would ask us what we were going to do and we would tell them that we were praying for God to provide. We even got past the point of the babies being born and people kept asking and I started looking at vans on Craigslist to see what price range we were talking. At that point, I was thinking that maybe God was going to provide by giving Mike some big extra projects at work. We talked about trying to make it work without a van for awhile, but I didn't feel comfortable with the idea that once all the babies are home, that would mean that I would be home alone with 4 kids and no way of taking them anywhere safely if there was an emergency. We continued praying.

Then I went to the sports awards banquet at Providence (the school where I coach high school girls volleyball and basketball). I handed out the awards for volleyball and then the captain came and gave me two gift bags and told me to open one right away. As I pulled out the tissue paper, I looked inside and saw a van key with a tag from a dealer. Immediately it hit me that I was seeing Jehovah Jireh answer a prayer request that had been months in praying. Of course, I started crying as I stood there in shock that anyone would do this for us. God had worked through one of the parents and impressed on her the fact that this was a big need for us. She responded to His leading and now I daily get to drive a big reminder of God's faithfulness. Before even one of the babies has been released from the hospital, He has once again provided for us. And in doing so, He has given me the privilege of being "one of those" who could raise my hand in chapel (if I were still young and in college) and tell everyone about Jehovah Jireh, My God Provides. Since I'm not young and still in college, I will instead put this long winded version out in this venue and allow the world to see.

Two quotes that continually have come back to mind in the last months (and I don't know where they originated, but I will tell you who I heard them from)...

1. "We trust in Jehovah Jireh, not jehovah visa." This one was a favorite of Dr. Ollila's and I heard it many, many times during my years at Northland. If we had chosen to just go take out a loan on a van (assuming we would be given one), we would have lost the opportunity to see God at work, which not only had an impact on us, but also showed God's faithfulness to those around us.

2. "God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, He can meet the need by just selling a cow." I have heard several versions of this over the years and most of them came from my Mom. Sometimes we seem to have a finite view of God and don't realize that really His resources are never ending and often He is ready to bless us if we just give Him the opportunity.

Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

The Birth Story, Part 4

After they sent me to recovery, I hung out in there for a little bit until Mike and Lauryn came back from getting the babies settled in NICU. At that point we sent a text to our family members to let them know that the babies were officially born and give them the names. Then we put out the word on facebook.

Once I made it through my required time in the recovery room, they took me to a post partum room. I remember the rest of the day being very foggy. The meds they put me on were doing a great job. I didn't feel pain. I was in and out and not really with it for very long at any given time. Later in the afternoon, the nurse helped me get out of bed and into a wheel chair and Lauryn took me to the NICU to see my babies up close for the first time. I remember looking at them with such awe. They were perfect tiny little babies. My heart was overwhelmed that they were here and mine. They were beautiful.

Sunday came and the great pain meds from Saturday had worn off. Now I had to rely on the ones the nurses brought and there were clearly times at the end of each 4-6 hours when I was hurting. I felt bloated and humongous.

The upside of the morning was a visit from my friend, Julie, who had been such a gigantic help during the bedrest time period. She brought her three girls and Lauryn watched them while Julie and I went to NICU to see the babies. The upside of the afternoon was a visit from our pastor and his family. We went to NICU and they let all of us in without a question. The rule is that you can only have 4 visitors per room at one time, but since we have three rooms, they let us all back. Later on I found out that they aren't supposed to let people in under the age of 12 unless it is a sibling. Thankfully whoever was working that day wasn't enforcing that rule.

The bummer of Sunday evening was that Lauryn left. She had been such a gigantic help to me from start to finish of her visit. She decoded the medical jargon for me, helped me get up and to the bathroom, wheeled me down to see my babies, took pictures and generally just made hospital life easier to deal with. I will forever be grateful that she gave up her vacation time to come be a part of this major life event.

On Sunday night, one of the doctors came by to check on me and told me that from there on I had to walk to NICU because I needed to get up and get walking. No more wheelchair. I remember that first walk about killing me. NICU is NOT close to where I was. I had to go down one long hallway, turn the corner and go down another long hallway, check into NICU and scrub down, then go to the farthest back hallway in NICU to get to my babies. Yeah, I thought I would die, but it was worth it to see them again.

On Monday, my super sweet friend (who happens to be my pastor's wife) came and gave up her day to sit with me so that I didn't have to sit there alone. We had a great time catching up on all that we had missed during my weeks of bedrest. Then after she left, I had a few quick moments for a power nap before a visit from another friend, Erica. Of course, each visit brought another trip down to NICU, but I was getting in the walking that the doctors wanted. I just wasn't enjoying the pain levels.

Tuesday brought visits from Mrs. Valdivia (one of my volleyball parents) and Mr. and Mrs. Blalock (my assistant volleyball coach and his lovely wife who has been a huge help with Jonathan at games - he loves her). Mrs. Anderson (another volleyball/basketball parent) stopped by as well. It was a great day for company.

On Wednesday they discharged me (they had actually let me stay an extra day since I had babies in the NICU and I was happy for another day to stay close to them). My sister, Barb, came from over in Kissimmee to see the babies and help with Jonathan and get me out and settled at home. We went over to NICU to deliver some milk and say goodbye to the babies. I wasn't prepared for how hard it was going to be to be discharged without them. As we walked back to the room, I found myself (and Barb was too) crying a little.

We finally got all the paperwork and everything in order and they wheeled me down. While I was waiting for Barb to come back with her van, a work contact of Mike's who had triplets the week before was released. As I watched them go past and the nurses push their babies out in the little portable cribs, though I was happy for them, the waterworks started again for me. By the time I got in the van, I was all out crying. I just HATED leaving my babies there. I knew they were in the best care. I knew that I couldn't give them what they needed at home, but I wanted my babies with me.

Barb got me home, got me settled and stayed overnight with us. Then the next day she took me to the hospital to see the babies and then to the airport to pick up my sister, Danelle, who came for a week to help me. She came at the perfect time. I needed help still. She spent the week helping with food, helping with Jonathan (including making some giant progress in potty training), helping with moving everything in the house so that we could get the nursery set up, helping with washing all the baby swing, jumper and bouncy seat covers and getting them put back on, as well as countless other things (like driving me all over the place). Barb also came back for a day where she and Danelle could work together. It was great to spend time together and get stuff done even though I couldn't do anything.

And so, that finished my first week outside the hospital. I will work to catch you up next on our time so far in NICU. At this point, tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the babies came into the world. We are blessed beyond measure.

The Birth Story, Part 3 of 4

Yes, I keep trying to get the paragraph separations to show, but it isn't working and yes, it is driving me crazy...

So, Hannah's water broke. The nurses recommended I call my husband, who was at home with our little man. I called him and he started the process of getting out of the house and finding a place for Jonathan. Thankfully, our friends James and Erica, were able to take him on short notice and then a little later that morning my friend, Julie, picked him up to watch him the rest of the day.

In the mean time, they decided to send me to Labor and Delivery. I think we were in the vicinity of 5:30 a.m. at this point. I got over there and started having contractions. At one point one of the nurses came and told me that they might try to get it stopped and see if they could get me another 2-3 weeks along. Are you kidding me??? So, here I was hanging out while they got me prepared for the c-section just in case, brought in people from anesthesiology to talk to me just in case and had me waiting for a resident to check my dilation status. While I was going through all of that, the contractions were coming faster and becoming more intense.

The resident said that I was "3 full" and left the room. Thankfully they came back and said we were going to go ahead with the c-section. This was in the 7-8 a.m. range. Contractions were really starting to hurt and I was feeling like this wasn't fair at all. I had prepared myself for going through a c-section (I THOUGHT), but not for having to deal with the labor pains of contractions as well as a c-section. Mike was blissfully working to take my mind off it with "funny" comments here and there and my friend, Lauryn, was sure that he was going to get smacked before the end of the day.

Around 8:15 a.m., they came and said that everything was ready but that it was going to take another 30 minutes because anesthesiology had to do something else first. WHAT? I am dying, here. I told Mike that I don't know how normal woman have babies because I was in sooo much pain. They came and gave me something that they told me would be gross tasting but that I had to try to keep it down. Drank it...started throwing up. Awesome.

In the mean time, don't forget that I had a complete head cold, so I was blowing my nose every chance I could get.

At exactly 8:50 a.m., after a particularly not fun contraction, I said with much frustration, "whoever told me 30 minutes LIED!!!" My super great nurse at that point got on the phone to ask them where they were in the process. She hung up and said we were good to go. YAY! Anesthesia coming soon. Give it to me NOW! By the time we left that room, my contractions were pretty strong and were about 1-2 minutes apart.

They took me to the operating room and mid contraction asked me, this giant mother carrying triplets, to slide from the bed I was in on to this tiny table where there were no handles. Uh yeah. So after the adventure that was, they had me sitting up on this little table through the next two contractions while I listened to someone training someone behind me on where to put the anesthesia. Okay, that might have been the scariest moment of delivering in a teaching hospital. But then the absolute bliss of anesthesia and feeling nothing from my ribs down. Ahhhh.

Next came the parade of people. The doctors were ready to go and someone said, "um, should we get the father in here?" and they were like "oh, yeah" almost like it was an afterthought. So, they brought in Mike and let my friend Lauryn come in too. They told me there were 22 hospital employees in there helping my little ones come into the world.

At 9:40, Hannah Elizabeth was born and Joshua Caleb came right behind within the same minute. At 9:41, Stephen James came out and by a few minutes after 10:00 a.m. they had me sewed back up and on the way to the recovery room.

Mike missed the fact that Hannah and Joshua had already come out. He tends to be a little queasy and didn't really want to see too much so he kept his eyes mostly on me. Good thing because Lauryn told me that when they broke the water on the boys that there was quite a splash. They did kind of wheel Hannah and Joshua past me but from where I was lying, it was hard to see them. Mike and Lauryn went with them to the NICU to get them settled in.

Stay tuned for Part 4 coming soon...

The Birth Story, Part 2 of 4

This picture is technically from Monday or Tuesday in Labor and Delivery, but since I feel it adequately displays my lack of comfort, I thought I would share...

So, we left off on Tuesday night when they transferred me from Labor and Delivery to the post partum floor for monitoring. While I was in this area, I did have a few visitors. The Beatons, former colleagues and friends from Guam came to visit. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, parents of one of my former players at Providence came to visit. My friend, Julie Little, came and brought her girls and Jonathan. That was awesome because I hadn't seen little man in a few days and I really was missing him.

We went from being literally waited on hand and foot and monitored nonstop night and day in the Labor and Delivery to having a nurse come in and tell us her name around 10:00 p.m., get clean linens for Barb to use on the sofabed thingy, and then nothing from our nurse until a new one came on shift the next morning.

Barb hung out with me all day on Wednesday. No one checked to see if labor was continuing. They just monitored the babies for a few minutes, monitored to see if I was having contractions during that time and had a doctor come talk to me during rounds. While during rounds that day, the doctor mentioned that they would monitor me for a few days and if nothing happened send me home. That was shocking after I had already been told both that I would meet the babies already and that I would be in the hospital now until they came. We ended up talking her into giving us through the weekend to see if anything changed based on the fact that I live 30 minutes or so away and would be home alone. I felt like there would be more peace and comfort for all if we knew I was being monitored.

Unfortunately, Barb needed to leave late Wednesday night. We figured that since nothing seemed to be progressing that it made sense for her to get home to our family and save her time over here for when something actually was happening. My friend, Julie, kept Jonathan overnight so Mike could come and stay with me that night.

I remember that being a rough night. I woke up constantly, was uncomfortable from the bed and had contractions throughout the night. Of course, when they checked me the next day, nothing had changed.

Thursday brought Mike heading back to work and my friend, Lauryn Haigh (a former student/friend from Guam), coming to visit. She is a nurse in Jacksonville and had a few days off in a row and volunteered to come stay with me in the hospital. She arrived Thursday evening and we had a great time catching up on life.

That night brought another uncomfortable night. I honestly was starting to feel bi-polar. On one hand, I knew that each moment the babies stayed inside meant a better start at life for them. On the other hand, I was hurting so much and was so uncomfortable that I wanted nothing more for them to GET OUT. My emotions literally would flip on a dime. On Friday morning, the nurses came and spent more than an hour trying to get all three babies to stay on monitor at the same time. I had one nurse on each side of me and had to stay in a position where I wasn't flat, but wasn't completely on one side or another. I am sure it was frustrating for them because each time they would get one of the babies on monitor and try to find the next one, the first one would move or kick and they would lose the heartbeat and have to start all over. By the time they were done, I was done emotionally. I sent Mike a text just telling him that I didn't think I could take it anymore, that I just didn't feel strong enough to handle this. As I was in tears while texting, one of the nurses came back in and found me crying and ended up giving me a pep talk. It helped somewhat, but I was still feeling exhausted and defeated.

When the doctors came around that morning, I told them how badly my back was hurting and how uncomfortable I was feeling. They mentioned ordering a comfort bed. Friday late afternoon brought with it an amazing new bed. It was basically an air pumped bed that took a little more effort to get in and out because it was higher, but each time I would shift my weight, you would hear the little pumps as they basically filled the empty space I created and gave me new great support.

Friday night was the best night of rest I had while at the hospital. Of course, I still woke up every 45 minutes or so to use the restroom, but at least I slept comfortably in between trips.

Then at 4:45 a.m. approximately, my water broke...

Stay tuned for parts 3 & 4, coming soon. :)

The Birth Story, Part 1 of 4

April 23rd. 28 weeks & 6 days. Day 47 of Bedrest.

That morning I had my 3 hour blood sugar test at USF. My previous results had come back at 150 and the doctor said that meant they needed to do a longer one to see if I did indeed have gestational diabetes. I did the required fasting and stopped eating at 10 p.m. on the 22nd.

On Monday, Mike dropped me off to the sugar test and took Jonathan to Riverview for an appointment with his pediatrician. At that appointment, we got the official diagnosis that Jonathan had pneumonia. He had to get his third shot of the weekend. Not fun.

While that was going on, I was sitting in the recliner at the sugar test and started feeling some fairly intense cramping in my stomach as well as lower back pain. I told the nurse that I thought I was having contractions. Since I wasn't on schedule to see a doctor that day, she recommended that when the sugar test was over that I head across the driveway to Tampa General Hospital and have them monitor me.

So, I did. When they checked me, they found that I was in active labor and was already dilated to 2. They admitted me right away to the Labor and Delivery section. In between meeting with doctors, I was texting Mike to let him know what was up. They put a monitor on me for each of the babies as well as one to check contractions. Then the processional began. I spoke to a NICU doctor who gave me the complete run down of what to expect if the babies came right away. One nurse told me that I would be meeting my babies in the next 24-48 hours. They sent the anesthesiology department guy to come talk to me about what to expect as far as the spinal anesthesia and to get me to sign consents for the operating room. They sent a group of residents to come stand around while I was being checked and then to talk about "what ifs". They brought back in another nurse to try to get the babies back on monitor (every time I had to move or if the babies got to rambunctious, they would go off monitor and then the nurses would have to try to track down each one individually again).

They put me on magnesium to try to stop the active labor. They gave me the first of two steriod shots to help mature the lungs of the babies. They declared me a slip risk because of the magnesium and introduced the "wonderful world" of a bedpan (eww...and yes, I know, TMI).

We were told by one of the nurses that since I was already starting to dilate, I would be kept in the hospital until the babies came. Mike was very relieved to know that I would be taken care of and monitored.

That night, my friend, Julie, kept Jonathan overnight (while the poor little guy was dealing with pneumonia) and Mike stayed at the hospital with me. Neither one of us slept much since the nurses were in there nearly all night trying to keep the babies on monitor. In the morning, Mike had to head off to work (nothing dramatic seemed to be happening) and my sister, Barb, came with plans to spend the next several days at the hospital with me.

They still wouldn't let me eat until they were sure that active labor had chilled out just in case we had to have the c-section. So, at this point, I still hadn't eaten or had anything more than that nasty glucose drink and ice chips since Sunday night. I was getting crabby with a capital c. Cruel and unusual punishment is depriving a mother carrying triplets. Nothing made me happier than when they finally decided I could have food. YAY! No one had to die. It had been almost 36 hours by the time I was able to eat.

On Tuesday afternoon, they went ahead with the second steriod shot and ceased the magnesium meant to slow active labor. They told me at that point we would just wait and see what happened.

Tuesday evening around 10:00 p.m., they moved me off of Labor and Delivery and over to another wing where I would just continue to be monitored. Barb helped pack up all the stuff and we went to the new place.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of 4 of The Birth Story. Coming tomorrow.

They are HERE!

Okay, so this will be quick and the story and more pictures will come later, but on Saturday, April 28th at 9:40 a.m., 9:40 a.m. and 9:41 a.m. the babies arrived via c-section.

They came in this order:

Hannah Elizabeth - 3 pounds & 2 ounces, 15.5 inches long
Joshua Caleb - 3 pounds & 4 ounces, 15 inches long
Stephen James - 3 pounds & 5 ounces, 16 inches long

We praise God for their safe arrival and continue to pray that He will protect them and help them to grow during their stay in NICU. 

Thanks to Lauryn Haigh for taking the pictures of the little ones shown above and to Kayla Gerhardt for putting the collage together to share with friends.  More information coming tomorrow, I promise.

Triplets @ 28 Weeks, Day 41 of Bedrest

Today is what is known as "Bronze Medal Day" in the world of triplet baby growing. 28 weeks. If you felt some minor earth movement this morning, that was probably me jumping for joy at reaching this accomplishment. 41 days ago when they put me on bedrest and told me that getting to at least today was the goal, I admit to having some doubt as to whether I could physically and mentally survive. God answered our prayers and the prayers of so many others to allow us to get to this point. Almost every week, I hear of a church family who is praying for us. What a gigantic blessing! James tells us that "the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" and we have seen that in action during this pregnancy (and before too).

In the world of medical science, reaching 28 weeks with triplets gives them a 90% chance of survival with no long term complications. Clearly we know that God is in control and could have protected the little ones had they come sooner, but it is so nice to know they are staying put for right now and getting the growth and nourishment they need. With each new day that God allows me to carry them, they are likely to have fewer days in the NICU once they are here.

My long term goal is to carry them another 4-6 weeks, and even as I type that I think, "WHERE IN THE WORLD WILL THEY FIT FOR 4-6 MORE WEEKS??" My tummy already looks a little like a war zone. Yes, I have crazy stretch marks already, but you know what, I view them as war wounds. As most of you know, I coach volleyball and basketball. When one of my girls gets a great bruise or a skinned up knee, I tell them to think of it as a war wound to be proud of. When I was in high school, we played volleyball on a carpeted gym floor. During one home game, I was sliding for a ball and ended up with a rug burn on my forehead. Yes, it hurt and yes, it looked ugly for awhile, but I was so proud of that war wound because I had worked hard for it. Bear with me, I'm getting to the point. I have no problem with my stretch marks staying with me for life. They will be a constant reminder of the privilege God has given me to carry these babies and feel them stretch and grow within me, something that we thought for the longest time I would never experience. They are war wounds that will remind me that we serve an amazingly awesome God Who has done above and beyond all that we could ask or think.

And with that, I will leave you for today. Thanks for celebrating with us this milestone. And maybe think about what war wounds God has given you...what marks are on your life that remind you that we serve an awesome God?

Triplets @ 27 Weeks & 4 Days, Day 38 of Bedrest

Yes, I ,know you are probably sick of seeing me in this shirt. However, I'm at the point where I really only have 2 "going out" maternity shirts that fit, so it is this one or the blue one. :)

Yesterday was another doctor appointment, ultrasound and sugar test. I went in with the mental preparedness that they would probably end up putting me in the hospital. I try to approach every doctor's apopintment that way.

Well, much to my pleasant surprise, that wasn't anywhere near how things turned out. The babies are all doing great and the smallest one weighs approximately 2lb 7ounces. The largest one is 2lb 10ounces. Those are great weights and we are excited about their growth.

Nothing else made it appear like a hospital visit was close at hand.

The doctor I met with was nice. At first he said that my next appointment would be in a month. WHAT? Then he noticed that I had gained 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks since my last appointment and decided he better have me come back in a week just to watch for signs of pre-eclampsia. I'm not really stressed about the weight. Before that last appointment I had lost 4 pounds in one week, so I think my body was just readjusting.

He measured my belly and said that I now measure like I am 45 weeks along. :) No wonder life is a little uncomfortable right now. But it is worth every moment of it.

I read on another triplet blog that "they" say that getting to 28 weeks is like winning the bronze medal, getting to 30 weeks is like winning the silver medal and getting to 34 weeks is like winning the gold medal. Tuesday I hit 28 weeks, so I will happily claim my non-existent bronze medal. Then I will start my 14 day countdown to 30 weeks and the silver medal. After all, I've never been satisfied with 3rd place. :)

No matter what though, I'm thrilled that God has protected these babies this long. 38 days ago when I was in the hospital wondering if my babies were going to survive or come far too early, I prayed that God would protect them and keep them safely inside. He has done that and I give Him the glory.

After my appointment yesterday, Mike dropped Jonathan and I off at my friend Julie's house for me to rest until work was over. Little did I know there were plans in place for another friend to come over and spend some time with us that included a most excellent finale of a super yummy piece of birthday cake in honor of Monday being the day that marks another year of aging in my life. It was nice to rest on her couch and still be able to spend time with friends.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support for us in our ongoing journey towards meeting these three precious little ones. By the way, we have now decided on all three names and no, we still aren't telling. :)

Triplets @ 27 Weeks, Day 34 of Bedrest

OH YEAH!

We made it to 27 Weeks! WOOHOO!

I'm not sure if you can tell, but I am excited.

Three more days until my next ultrasound that will show growth and get an idea of if Baby Girl is still pushing out. Six more days until my 35th birthday and the official mark of "advanced maternal age" goes on the record. Seven more days until we reach the big benchmark hurdle of 28 weeks.

When I started bedrest 34 days ago, the idea of making it 41 days was overwhelming. So I broke it down into weekly goals. Now we have only one more week. Then we'll start the countdown of trying to make it to 32 weeks.

The past week included lots of lying around, stretching and grunting. My nose is swollen and congested most of the time, though I don't think I'm sick. So, I breathe heavily and grunt with nearly every movement.

I'm working hard to keep chugging the fluids. Most every day I'm over 100 ounces of water.

I did have some stabbing pains over the weekend and thought I might have to go into the hospital yesterday, but they seem to have subsided, so I am aiming for making it to the ultrasound on Friday.

Some days I'm still overwhelmed at the idea that in the not-too-distant future, Lord willing, we will go from a family of 3 to a family of 6. I have had 18 weeks to get used to the idea of triplets and yet I still find myself in shock sometimes. I start thinking through different details of life and wondering how to make that happen with triplets and a preschooler.

God has blessed us exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think and I know He will give us the strength day by day for what He has planned for us. I can't wait to meet these three little miracles and continue to praise Him for them.

Triplets @ 26 Weeks, Day 27 of Bedrest

WOOHOO! Today I celebrate another weekly milestone and I'm so thankful that God has brought us this far. The initial goal is at least another 2 weeks and that will get us to the 28-32 weeks goal. The closer I can get to 32 weeks, the better.

Physically, I'm doing okay. Comfort is hard to come by. The doctor on Friday said that I'm measuring at 37 weeks, so I am experiencing what most expectant moms go through at the end of their pregnancy.

I did really like the doctor that I saw on Friday. She related well to me and I trusted her right away. She answered some of my concerns and isn't stressed about the shortening as long as I don't have other symptoms like bleeding or water breaking. She scheduled me for the next appointment on April 13th. That will be a growth check for the babies as well as the sugar test that I've heard so much about. I will also get to follow up with a doctor on that date. I'm thankful that they were able to get everything on one day instead of requiring multiple trips during the same week. That makes life easier for Mike and it requires me to be out and about fewer times. She also made my day because I talked to her about some of the concerns I've had with my least favorite resident in the labor and delivery ward at the hospital. She said that he might be rotated off by the time I'm in. Just the thought of possibly not having to see him again probably contributed to the lowest blood pressure readings I have had in the last 5 visits (just kidding - they had already taken my blood pressure, but I'm happy to hear that I might not have to see him again).

A few blessings we've recently had:

Mike's Mom and Grandma were both able to come visit and help us, which meant that out of 27 days of bedrest, today is only the second day that I've actually been home alone. They were a gigantic help to us and I'm so thankful for their servants' hearts.

Through a high school friend on facebook, I was able to connect with another mom of triplets that was actually at college the same time I was (though we didn't really know each other back then). Her triplets are 9 months old, and it has been such a blessing to have someone that I can ask questions and know she totally understands exactly what I'm going through and she has great wisdom to share.

Several families at church have been contributing meals for us so that Mike picks up one on Sunday and one on Wednesday night. This has been HUGE! When he gets home from work, there is usually something he can just heat up and serve rather than having to get home from a long day of work only to have to start from scratch to get us supper. What a blessing it has been to see the outpouring of support from our church family.

Childcare for Jonathan during this bedrest time has also come together pretty well. My friend, Julie, has taken him many days but had family come into town for two weeks. One week was when Mike's mom was here and Jonathan was able to stay home with us, which I loved. This week, he is having playdates with 3 other families (and I'm still working to fill in Friday). Then I think next week he will be back to spending time with Julie. It has taken a big stress off of my mind to know that there are people who I trust who are willing to help with him. This is an adjustment time for all of us and his world will only continue to get rocked more and more as the time comes for the babies to arrive and go through NICU and then come home. Knowing that he is with people who have the same general parenting style we do is a big blessing.

God continues to provide for us. Sometimes it can be easy to get overwhelmed when you look at the big picture and start to worry about diapers for babies or transportation that will work for all of us, but God has never failed us in the past and we have been able to see His goodness. I'm always reminded of Psalm 27:13-14..."I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." What a privilege we have to know the comfort of that truth. God is good. Just the very fact that I'm at 26 weeks carrying triplets is a testimony to that fact.

Well, this update has been rather verbose (a tendency of mine, I know), so kudos to you if you have managed to stay with me. I'll try to get a new picture in the next few days. Thanks for your prayers and your support through this time.

PS...I think yesterday we decided on the second of three names. YAY! We still have one to finalize that we are mulling over, but I'm excited about that. And no, we aren't telling. :)

Triplets @ 25 Weeks & 1 Day, Day 21 of Bedrest

For some reason when I woke up this morning I felt especially ginormous. After Mike took this picture I was thinking that it appears to show the same thing. :)

I went in for an ultrasound today. Unfortunately, it did show continued movement and shortening where we were hoping for none. I think Baby Girl is just determined to get out and keeps pressing down where she shouldn't. My next dr. appt. isn't until Friday afternoon, so I asked the ultrasound tech at what point there should be concern about the length and she did check with a doctor who said that I should be okay to wait and talk to the dr. on Friday and just to continue on with the bedrest.

The goal has been to make it at least to 28 weeks (20 more days). I admit to being a little skeptical about that considering the continued movement and so I just rejoice each morning when God gives us another day. I do choose to encourage myself with the knowledge that God can do what seems impossible.

Triplets @ 25 weeks, Day 20 of Bedrest

YAY! Today is the start of another week. :) After my first hospital visit at 22 weeks and 1 day, I'm very thankful to have reached this point and have the babies still happily residing with me. I did have kind of a rough night last night and wondered if it was going to end with another trip to the hospital, but I'm holding out because I have an ultrasound tomorrow and that should tell us if things are moving or if everything is still staying where it needs to.

I have to work hard to keep drinking water as much as possible. I usually am between 84 and 112 ounces of water each day. And still every time I end up at the hospital, they tell me I'm dehydrated and give me an IV. Sometimes I drink so much that I feel like I'm going to float away, so it is crazy to me that I could still be dehydrated.

Mike's mom came in last Thursday and his grandma flew out last Friday. It has been such a blessing to have extra help. It will definitely be sad when Mike's mom leaves on Friday. I have truly been blessed with an amazing mother-in-law. We have a great relationship and I have really enjoyed spending time with her.

Mike likes to tease me about how I'm "so busy" just lying around all day and I have to remind him that I'm taking care of 4 of us while I'm doing that. :) I do have my moments of feeling like I'm not doing anything productive. It is hard to not be able to do so many things you took for granted and it is especially hard feeling like I can't take care of Jonathan like I should. I occasionally find myself very emotional about it, but I try to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and move on.

One other great part about this week is the addition of being able to see the babies kick from outside. When I first started feeling them move, I thought nothing could be better. Then came being able to put my hand or Mike's hand over the spot and feel them kick and nothing could be better than that, right? Nope. It is so cool to look down and see my tummy moving as the babies move. Love it. I have to think the only thing that will top that is holding them in my arms.

Well, tomorrow is my next ultrasound, so I'll have Mike do a picture then. Thanks again to all those who have been praying for us. We've been overwhelmed by the support of those around us and we know God is going to do great things, no matter how He chooses to work.

Triplets @ 24 weeks & 1 day, Day 14 of Bedrest

Woohoo! 14 days of bedrest down and the goal is at least 27 more.

Well, the update from yesterday's doctor's appointment...

I went in planning to just get the same "stay on bedrest" lecture. The doctor, who I really liked, asked me if I was having contractions and I told her that this is my first pregnancy to make it this far and that I don't really know what they feel like, so I don't know. She decided to have them hook me up to a monitor and also take residual blood pressure readings. So, they camped me out in the most comfortable chair I've sat in for a long time with my feet propped up and started the monitors. At first they were trying to get a monitor to stay on one of the baby's heartbeats, but the medical assistant couldn't find one that would stay (the babies were moving too much). She kept saying that you would think it would be easier with three. I'm pretty sure my blood pressure was rising the longer it was taking her to find heartbeats. In the end the doctor told her not to worry about that since we had an ultrasound the day before that showed heartbeats were fine.

After a little bit the dr. came in and told me that I was having contractions every 8 minutes and that my blood pressure was reading higher than they wanted fairly consistently. So, she headed down to the high risk doctor to talk about what to do. She came back and said they were sending me across to Tampa General Hospital and that I would be admitted for the night for observation. She also said they might give me the steriod shots to help the lungs mature on the babies in case they are coming right away.

So, Grandma Becky (Mike's grandma) and I headed across the street to TGH. We got checked in and they put me on an IV and monitors. At one point the nurse told me that I was having contractions every two minutes and my blood pressure was still high.

After a little bit, our least favorite resident doctor returned to the room to talk to me. He had the ultrasound results from Monday but still wanted to check that everything was closed and long that is supposed to be. Apparently it was to his satisfaction. I asked about the steriod shots and he started with his usual speech I have heard before about other things..."there is no proof that they help but there is no proof that they hurt" but either way, that is something they wait on until they are absolutely sure the babies are coming. Of course, at least once he stated that he would have to talk to "his boss" about something. That drives me nutso. I understand he is a resident, but it doesn't give the patient much comfort when the provider keeps referring to his boss. I just want to say, "Never mind, SEND YOUR BOSS TO ME!!!" I know this is a teaching hospital and it probably wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't already rub me the wrong way, but it does. The topic is not something like "can you ask your manager if I can have a discount" - then I don't mind people asking their boss. We are talking about the lives of 3 of our children all at once! Okay, so I better get off my soapbox because I really could go on and on about this one. I work to remind myself that God is still in control even when I want to rip out the iv and run down the hall in my "airy" hospital gown when this guy walks into the room.

In the end, they didn't keep me overnight for observation. He came back in and said that since I'm not feeling the contractions, they aren't going to worry about it for now. My blood pressure had come down a little while I was there. They are doing a 24 hour test on me right now to figure out if the high blood pressure is just pregnancy related in general or if it is a sign of preeclampsia.

I have another ultrasound next Wednesday unless something happens before then. The good news is that at least we are to the point in the pregnancy where they CAN give the steriod shot to help the babies lungs develop.

In the midst of all the uncertainty and different reports from different doctors, I'm so thankful for a Sovereign God who knows my babies even while they are in my womb. Each day I carry them is a privilege and an honor (no matter how uncomfortable it gets). :)

Triplets Ultrasound Update, 23 Weeks, 6 Days

I know I just added a picture a few days ago, but today I actually was allowed to leave the house because I had an ultrasound, so I thought we better take advantage of the fact that I was actually showered and dressed to go out and see if we could have at least one pregnancy picture that didn't include my hair in a ponytail. :)

Today's ultrasound was a good news/okay news type of thing.

The good news:

*All three heartbeats were in the perfect range.
*Baby Boy B weighs 1 pound, 10 ounces.
*Baby Girl weighs 1 pound, 9 ounces.
*Baby Boy C weighs 1 pound, 7 ounces.
*All three are measuring ahead of schedule.

The okay news:

After 11 full days of bedrest (today is day 12), that which is supposed to stay long and had gone from 3.5 to 1.9 has remained the same length at 1.9. HOWEVER, Baby Girl's head is pushing down as if she wants to get as far away from her brothers as possible and that has led to a little of an opening beginning. This afternoon one of the high risk doctors will do a detailed review of the ultrasound and provide a report to the doctor I see tomorrow with a plan of where to go from here. Because of the location of Baby Girl's head, it wouldn't be safe to try to sew things up to keep escape from happening. So, we will see what they say tomorrow.

Most likely I will hear the same thing...bedrest from here on out, every day matters, etc. They did tell me today that if I start to feel any sort of cramping that I need to head to the hospital right away. The reality is, there isn't much they can do to stop the progression BUT I have a big God Who can keep these babies safely inside me for as long as He wants AND if He chooses to have them come now, He can protect them and give them life outside of the womb at this point too. That is the awesome part about having a BIG God.

I read somewhere over the weekend that at this stage of pregnancy that a baby will grow up to 6 ounces every 7 days. That is probably just for a single baby, but since all of my babies are currently measuring ahead of where I actually am, I'm hoping the same holds true of them. That means if they can just stay put for one more week, we are past 2 pounds for all but one of them. Every little bit truly does matter, so I continue to thank God for each day that we get past without problem.

The goal from the doctors before today was at least 29 more days. That would get me to 28 weeks, which is still early, but starts the time frame they expect the babies to come (28-32 weeks). We will see if tomorrow they have changed that projection.

I am going to ask, nay, virtually insist, that they schedule me for another ultrasound next week to keep an eye on if that 1.9 is going down. Plus, Mike's mom comes on Thursday and will be staying until the next Friday, so that would also allow her to see the little ones. Mike's grandma was able to go with me today and she really enjoyed seeing the babies on the screen. Since I hope they stay put until after she leaves (on Friday this week), this might be the only time she sees them for a long time.

Thanks for your continued prayers. We praise God for each step of this process and for the privilege of carrying these babies.

Picture, 23 Weeks & 4 Days, Triplets

Triplets @ 23 Weeks & 3 Days, Bedrest Day 9

For my picture this week, instead of showing you what I actually look like, I thought I would show you how I feel. Yes, that is a beached whale. Yes, that is how I feel. To some extent, that is how I look too. :)

Well, we are officially at 23 weeks and 3 days. At this point, each day is a day to celebrate. I did start out the week with a quick trip to the hospital on Monday morning. Thankfully everything was okay. The dr. told me that with triplets and where I'm at, we will probably be on a first name basis before this is all over. Um...no thanks. He also told me that pain is to be expected and doesn't necessarily mean anything, so I should start adding daily Tylenol to my pre-natals. I'm not 100% comfortable with that. I guess I want to know that I am feeling what is actually happening and not feel like I'm always in a drugged state. I know Tylenol wouldn't make me not feel anything, but still...

Today marks Day 9 of bedrest. Bedrest is an interesting thing. To clarify, my current form of bedrest is that I'm only supposed to get up to go to the bathroom and to take a quick shower every few days. I don't have to be in bed the whole time, but can be on a couch and I don't have to lie 100% flat...just weight neutral. The weight of the babies can't be pushing down, so I can't sit straight up. When it comes to lying down, I'm not supposed to lie on my back because the weight of the babies can cut off circulation both to me and to them and that isn't a good thing. I can't lie on my right side for long because I get this stabbing pain in my chest that just doesn't feel pleasant. So, my left side gets tons of lying down action. The hardest part of that is that my left hip and left shoulder start to ache fairly easily. More than the physical aches of bedrest come the mental aches of bedrest. I read an article that said that bedrest often leads to depression (and have also heard some testimony of this from others) because your friends think you are on a mini-vacation (and who among us wouldn't enjoy the thought of being forced to rest and not do anything for a few days) while each day you go through gets tougher and tougher. You run out of things to do. Your mind is losing it from boredom. Your body just wants to move. You wonder about the weather. You start thinking about how nice it would be just to walk out and get the mail. You realize you took for granted how easily you could obtain Taco Bell. And the list goes on and on.

I will say that I'm currently VERY blessed because Mike's grandma is staying with us until next Friday and his mom is coming in next Thursday, so I will have company for at least the next 2 weeks. That is a huge blessing. Having someone to talk to in the middle of the day is nice and having help to get food and water and etc is a big help.

I guess the biggest thing I've taken away from these last 9 days is a new appreciation for those who are put on bedrest and even more so for shut-ins. For me, I know my bedrest is temporary and, Lord willing, will result in giving a healthier start to three precious lives that we have loved and longed for. For others, bedrest doesn't have that happy ending for which to look forward. How discouraging must it be to be trapped in your house with no countdown to when that changes? How many of us think to pray for our shut-ins? Though I know my life will be crazy in the next little while, I wonder if God will open the door for me in the future to have some sort of outreach to those who are stuck at home or stuck in a nursing home or hospital room.

One of the ways I'm hoping to combat restlessness during this time is to go through an intensive Bible reading program. One of my friends sent me a link that charts out reading through your Bible in 90 days. I'm going to start that today and I'm kind of excited about it. When she first brought up the program a few months ago, I knew there was no way with my schedule that I could do it. I was taking care of Jonathan all day, plus coaching, plus dr. appointments, plus life in general. Now that I'm limited in what I can do, I'm going to start the program and see how it goes.

Without a doubt, the hardest part of bedrest for me so far has been having to say goodbye to my little man each morning and not see him until the evening. Many times he is so exhausted from a full day of playing that he falls asleep on the way home and doesn't really wake back up much, if at all, when he gets home. It has been hard to go from full-time stay-at-home mom to only see him for such a short period of time. I cried several times the first few days because I felt like I was a failure and couldn't meet his needs. But, I have had to remind myself that right now I am the only one humanly who can take care of the triplets and that is what my priority has to be. Jonathan has been able to stay with friends that we trust who will treat him as one of their own. I know that he is in good hands and that makes it easier, but I do miss my little guy.

Mike has been amazing through it all. I know you must get sick of hearing me talk about his greatness, but he truly has been great. He gets himself and Jonathan ready in the morning, gets Jonathan dropped off, survives a full day of work, survives the Tampa traffic to get Jonathan and come home, goes to the post office for me, picks up slushies for me (my current craving because it makes my heartburn feel better), goes grocery shopping, rubs my aching back, takes care of Jonathan in the night, and every other thing you can imagine that I can't do. And not once have I heard him complain about it. I am blessed with a true man and I'm thankful for him.

Well, this update is getting long, so I should let you go. Extra points if you made it this far in reading it. Monday is my next ultrasound and I'm looking forward to hearing how big the babies have grown. Each ounce will help them if/when they come early.

As always, thank you for your prayers. We do not take them for granted and we know that the effectual fervant prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5).

The Update

Hey Everyone,

I just wanted to update those of you not on facebook who are following the blog. On Wednesday of this week, I started having different symptoms than my normal stretching feeling. My abdomen just started feeling really tight and it hurt to stand all the way up. I ended up calling Mike during the day and he came home to take care of Jonathan because I was struggling. Then that evening, Mike and Jonathan left for church and I started right away having lower back pain/spasms. I decided to call the on call dr. just to ask if it was something I should be worried about. I half expected her to tell me, "you are having triplets - of course your abdomen is tight and your lower back hurts", but instead she told me to come in right away.

So, I called Mike and let him know and then met him at church and we headed to the hospital. Thankfully since I was 22 weeks along, they sent me straight up to the labor and delivery level instead of making me sit through the emergency room.

They discovered that I was dehydrated and may or may not have a bladder infection (should find that out in a few days). The big news came during my sonogram. In the past 5 days since my last sonogram, things had changed significantly and my body was starting the process of preparing for delivery. There was also extra fluid around the boys and that night we saw a resident high risk dr. who told us they might have to do an amneoscentesis (I'm sure I spelled that wrong) to take out some of the fluid.

I stayed overnight so in the morning I could see the real high risk doctors and see what they wanted to do. In the end, the answer was strict bedrest from here on out in the pregnancy. I can get up to use the restroom and for a quick shower every few days, but need to spend as much time weight neutral as possible (not necessarily lying flat, but keeping the weight from pressing down and making them think it is time to come out). I'm really still not far enough along, so every day I can give them will make a difference in their start in life. The doctors never ended up addressing the extra fluid, but they did choose to release me, so I'm assuming at this point that is not high on their concerns.

So, bedrest begins.

Feeling them Move!!!

So, I have been feeling flutters on the inside for a long time, but haven't really felt anything on the outside until about 30 minutes ago. I put my hand over where I felt the flutter and could feel the kick.

I'm so excited. I wish Mike were here. I want him to feel them kick.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me this moment that I never thought I would have the privilege of experiencing!

22 Weeks Along, Picture and Update

Happy 22 Weeks. I celebrate each week because it is a week more that God has allowed my body to carry the babies. There isn't any real big news since my last post since I haven't had any doctor's appointments and won't have the next one until Monday, March 19th.

I continue to struggle with sleeping because I just can't get comfortable and my back hurts. Last night during one of my short snooze sessions I dreamt that something was wrong and I had to go to the hospital. I distinctly remember crying and saying over and over again "it's too early" as I was being wheeled down a hallway in a hospital bed. Then when I started moving around this morning, I noticed a new achy and sore feeling going on which has me a little nervous. Here I am presented with another opportunity to trust God with my babies. I know it was a just a dream last night, but my human nature wants to turn those pangs of pain and soreness into something much more than that.

From the beginning we have known that God is the Giver of Life. These babies will be born according to His will and in His timing. If that is today, God is good and knows what is best for us. If that is 12 weeks from now when the doctors prefer, God is good and knows what is best for us.

As Christians, we are blessed with the gift of this knowledge. So much of what we have been through in the last 6 years seems impossible to deal with outside of the gift of the knowledge that God is in control.

So we continue on and wait to see what He does. When fears and doubts arise, I return to Scripture to comfort me and remind me that (Psalms 84:11) "For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."

He will give us what is best...and only He knows what that will be.

21 Weeks With Triplets

Hey everyone, a picture will have to come later when Mike comes home.

Well, I'm officially 21 weeks and 2 days along. Today I had a doctor's appointment. I really expected to hear that bedrest is nigh because I've felt a bunch of twinges this past week that made me think that things were moving that shouldn't be moving. But, yay for everything still being long and together so no bedrest on the horizon just yet. :)

The babies all looked great. We got to see them a little extra because they were working to get good pictures of their hearts today. Mike and Jonathan were able to come with me today, so that was super great. Of course, Jonathan wasn't super enthralled for more than just a minute or so of seeing "Mommy's babies" on the screen, so Mike spent most of the time entertaining him.

I was hoping for them to be able to tell me their weight today, but apparently they won't check that for another two weeks because there is a margin of error and they only check it every 4 weeks.

The "funniest" part of the day was when I met with a delivery doctor who measured me to see how big my belly is measuring. And the result? 35 weeks! As mentioned in the first paragraph, I'm only 21 weeks and 2 days. So, there is some validation to the fact that I feel humongous. I told Mike that it is no wonder that I'm uncomfortable at night and going to the bathroom all the time. Most women at this point are nearing the end of their pregnancy. I have 13 more weeks to go just to make it to their 34 week goal for me. It really should be interesting to see where my body expands from here. If we could just avoid ramming any more organs into my ribs, that would be nice.

This past Sunday I did go to church only to have to leave early. I truly felt like I was going to pass out at any moment. I wasn't sure what could have caused it, but after talking to a friend who had twins this past year, I think maybe it was a low blood sugar/not enough breakfast problem. I had two pieces of toast and a banana and figured that after church there would be something at my Sunday School to eat. I think I really need to start carrying snacks with me so that I can eat throughout the day whenever that feeling starts coming on. I'm thankful for my husband who took immediate and excellent care of me on Sunday, including a quick pullover on the way home so that I could open the door before I threw up. I know I say this a lot, but I really am overwhelmed by the awesome man God gave me. He takes amazing care of me and of Jonathan every single day. Without a doubt, he was worth the wait. :)

So, I guess that is it for now. As for cravings, I have hit big time the "need a slushy" craving. 52 oz slushy. Sure. I'll finish it in less than an hour.

Oh yes, one more question...for those of you who have been there (have been gigantic in pregnancy), what product did you use for stretch marks and when do you start (probably I'm already running late on that). I am already getting dark purple stretch marks and would like to do whatever is necessary (on a tight budget) to make that better.

Also, be prepared, I have a "deep thought post" percolating in my head that is getting ready to come out one of these days.